She Let Herself Go

I was just cleaning out old email drafts and I stumbled across this post I wrote back in November. It's a little dated as far as my experience goes, but the message is still fitting so I'm going to throw it up here anyway. Enjoy! -Keri

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I have a confession to make: I'm addicted to country music. Shocker. 

The reason I'm making this confession is that I'm about to do something slightly unorthodox. Usually if I quote something it's a book by a Christian giant or a bible verse... today I'm throwing in some lyrics from a country song. Brace yourself. 

Just over a month ago, I was broken up with for the first time in my life. Let me tell you, that is not a fun experience. I had the distinct pleasure though of being broken up with in such a way that I can still speak of this man with respect and with a smile on my face. That, my friends, is a blessing that should not be overlooked. Our relationship didn't end because of something done wrong or a big fight or a dramatic difference. It ended because, for whatever reason, he didn't have the feelings for me that he thought he should. And to be honest, if that's how he felt, I respect him for ending it now. Doesn't make it easy to accept, but I respect it. 

The problem is, I have watched WAY too many chick flicks. Don't get me wrong, I am all about a girls night with nail polish, Diet Coke, Chinese take out, and Ryan Reynolds. Sign me up. The quandary was, since I'd never be broken up with before, I wasn't really sure how I was supposed to react... but I'd seen them deal with break ups in the movies and I was pretty sure they required lots of Kleenex, Ben and Jerry's chocolate ice cream, and vice-like clutching of tear-stained pillows. I contemplated doing that for about 30 seconds and decided I didn't want to be "that girl." So like any good girl raised on Winne-the-Pooh stories, I put on my thinking cap and thought... and thought... and thought about what I was going to do instead. 

That's where George Strait came in. 

Old George has had my back since 2005 when he released a song called "She Let Herself Go" It was like he knew I would need it. What a great guy. But I digress. As I was thinking about how I wanted to respond to my new-found singledom, this song came to mind. It says:

 He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.
Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

...

Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:

And as I sang along, as off-key as humanly possible, (and keep in mind that by sang along I really mean I belted it out like a bonafied American-Idol-wannabe, shower-time-superstar, teenage-slumber-party-diva) I realized that's what I wanted to do. Not that I was going to catch the first flight to Vegas, but that I wanted to make the most of this opportunity.

In the past I'd spent times of singleness wishing that I wasn't single, and I'm realizing now that it's quite a waste to do that. Not that I don't want to find a great guy and settle down someday (trust me, I really do), but that obviously isn't right now and that's ok. Right now I have the freedom to schedule Friday night girls nights, to spend every holiday with MY family, to go on double blind dates in the city, and to flirt with the guy making my smoothie a Jamba Juice in hopes of a size upgrade (wait, did I say that?!). It's much harder to do those when you're taken! (That's a joke, feel free to laugh) 

Christ died for us so that we might have life and have it to the full, period. There is no prerequisite that says you must wait until you are in a committed relationship before you start enjoying the life you have been blessed with. I don't want to be sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for a handsome prince to come so my life can start! Heck, at that point he'd probably pass me by because I was too boring!! NO! I want to be busy making memories so that when he does come along, I'll have plenty of stories to tell him on our first date... and our second... and if he makes it through the third, I might even let him start to participate in my adventures. We'll see, the jury is still out on that one. ;)